What to include
Work through this list, in roughly this order. Most invitations need all of it; casual ones can fit it into two lines.
- What it is and who it's for: "Sam's 40th", "Team end-of-year party", "Dinner at ours".
- Who's hosting, if it isn't obvious from who sent it.
- The date, with the day of the week. "Saturday 21 November" is harder to get wrong than "the 21st".
- A start time, and a finish time where it matters: kids' parties, workshops, venue bookings.
- The full address, plus anything that makes it easier to arrive: parking, the side gate, the buzzer number, the room.
- What to bring or wear, if anything. Say "nothing" if you mean it.
- Who's invited: partners, plus-ones, kids. If it's just the person you're writing to, say "this invitation is for you" rather than asking.
- How to reply, and by when.
Put the details where people can find them
Most guests read an invitation once and come back to it on the day for the time and address. Put those on their own lines ("When:", "Where:") rather than inside a paragraph.
Keep the friendly part short. One or two sentences on why you're celebrating is enough. The details are what people search for later.
Match the tone to the event
| Event | Tone | Example opening |
|---|---|---|
| Drinks, BBQ, casual dinner | Relaxed | "We're firing up the barbecue on Sunday and you're invited." |
| Kids' party | Playful, practical | "Mia is turning 6! You're invited to her party." |
| Milestone birthday | Celebratory | "Alex is turning 40, and that calls for a party." |
| Team party | Warm, professional | "It's been a big year, and it's time to celebrate." |
| Launch, gala, formal dinner | Formal | "The Harbour Foundation requests the pleasure of your company…" |
When to send it
There's no fixed rule, but these lead times are common and give most guests enough notice. Send earlier around holidays, school breaks and December, and for anyone who has to travel.
| Event | Send it |
|---|---|
| Drinks or a casual catch-up | A few days to a week ahead |
| Dinner party, BBQ, potluck | One to two weeks ahead |
| Adult birthday party | Two to three weeks ahead |
| Kids' birthday party | Three to four weeks ahead |
| Milestone birthday, team party, launch, workshop | Three to six weeks ahead |
| Gala or formal event with tickets | Six to eight weeks ahead, with a save-the-date earlier |
How to ask for replies without confusing guests
- Give one way to reply. "Reply to this email", "text me" or "use this form": not all three.
- Give one date, with the day of the week. Set it a few days before any venue or caterer deadline.
- Ask the yes-or-no question first, then only what you need (see what to ask guests when they RSVP).
- Say what a guest should do if they're unsure. "If you're not sure yet, tell me by Friday anyway" gets more answers than silence.
- If replies go into a group chat, say so, and keep the questions short enough to answer in one message.
- Remind people who haven't replied the day after the deadline, one-to-one, not in the group.
Email, text or WhatsApp?
Email suits work events, formal invitations and mixed groups who don't share a chat. Put the event and date in the subject line.
Text and WhatsApp suit casual events and close friends. Keep it to one message with the date, time and place, and send the full details again as a reminder the day before.
If you'll need to collect answers from more than a handful of people, a simple form or an RSVP tool saves you counting replies across apps.
Common mistakes
- Leaving out the finish time for a kids' party, so parents don't know when to collect.
- Writing "RSVP" with no date and no way to reply.
- Asking for gifts, or listing a registry, in a casual invitation.
- Putting a surprise party in a group chat the guest of honour is in.
- Changing the plan after sending without a clear "Update:" message to everyone.